Divorce mediation is a process where a neutral third party, known as a mediator, assists couples in resolving disputes related to their divorce. The mediator controls the flow of the conversation and facilitates discussions and helps both parties reach mutually acceptable agreements on issues like asset division, child custody, and support.  However, only the parties make final agreements.

First, an initial meeting (usually telephonically) wherein both parties may become acquainted with the mediator to explain the process and establish ground rules.

Second, information gathering wherein both parties exchange necessary information about finances, assets, and children to be used in mediation.

Third, mediation sessions wherein the mediator meets with both parties and guides the discussion, helping both parties communicate effectively, overcome obstacles, and explore solutions.

Fourth, once agreement is reached, the mediator drafts a memorandum of settlement agreement to be reviewed by both parties and their attorneys.

First, it is much more cost-effective.  When mediation is implemented and both parties are sincere in submitting to the process, the cost is significantly less expensive than litigation.

Second, resolution may be reached much faster, usually a fraction of the time it takes to litigate in court.  The parties are in control of the scheduling their mediation, wherein the judge controls the scheduling for court.  The time difference could be from two months in mediation to more than a year litigating in court.

Third, it is much less stressful as it usually avoids months of preparation and waiting for a court date.  There is much less time to argue over finances, the children, and any other disputes.

Fourth, the parties can maintain control over the process, agreeing to solutions that work for them instead of being forced to follow court rulings (orders).

Fifth, the mediation process is complete confidential and private, unlike court proceedings which are public.

In many jurisdictions, couples are required to attempt mediation before proceeding to litigation. However, this can vary by state, so it's essential to check local laws.

Mediation can be effective even in high-conflict divorces, provided both parties are willing to engage in the process. A skilled mediator can help de-escalate tensions and create a structured environment where productive discussions can take place.  Ground rules must be accepted before beginning.  The parties agree to be respectful.  Anger and/or antagonism may cause the mediation to be temporarily discontinued.  The mediator’s neutrality and ability to focus on shared goals can help both parties move past entrenched conflict patterns and work toward a resolution that meets their needs.

If mediation is unsuccessful, the parties would then continue to pursue litigation.  If partial agreement has been reached, the mediator may provide a summary of understanding that can be provided to the court, thereby reducing the number of issues that remain to be litigated in court.

While it's not mandatory to have an attorney present during mediation, it is recommended.  Should you desire your attorney be present, he/she may be able provide legal advice in the moment, ensure your rights are protected, and help you understand the implications of any agreements made. However, whether or not you have retained an attorney to represent you, it is advisable to have an attorney of your choice review any agreements made to ensure that no issue has been left out and your rights are fairly protected.

Mediation can be completed in a variety of ways.  Traditionally, the most common method is to meet together.  With the implementation of virtual meetings, mediations can be done online also.  At any given time during a mediation, either party may request to meet privately with the mediator to discuss any concerns or questions not wanting to share with the other party.  The mediator will customarily then meet privately with the opposing party to address any of their concerns before continuing the mediation together.