There are only two choices. It is either you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse, who for better or worse (no pun intended) know the exact realities of your situation better than anyone else in the world, OR the judge who has never laid eyes on you before you enter the courtroom for the final trial, and knows nothing about either of you except what you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse will tell him/her in very few hours, and a review the documents that you have filed with the court. Could a judge, a stranger to both of you, learn in less than a day’s time as much as you, the parties, already know about your lives, and the lives of your children?
Who do you want making decisions that will affect your life for years to come?
To achieve a successful mediation, the correct “mindset” is critical. Both you and your spouse must be completely “on board” with the process to make this work. That means you must overcome what has been referred to as the “revenge complex.”
Never forget that if either person is out to get revenge, mediation has little chance of being successful. For others, that is the ultimate stumbling block, but don’t let it be yours. Though the thoughts that usually go through those just entering the divorce arena are overwhelmingly negative against their spouse, don’t let them stay there. Let those thoughts just keep on going until they disappear on the horizon.
Revenge is too expensive for most people to even think about….so let it go…. now!” Those who continue with such negative thinking will either lead themselves to a dead end or over a cliff (financially and emotionally) and destroy what could have been a successful, calmer, mediated divorce.
It is critical to remember the #1Mindset Rule: If you let thoughts of anger, rage, hostility, bitterness, animosity and/or superiority run free in your subconscious and/or conscience mind and are allowed to take control of your thinking at any time while the divorce litigation moves forward, you will PAY more from your pocketbook and your heart!
